I tried to make an appointment with a business associate. He is a good friend of mine as well, i.e. there is no need to be very formal. I sent him a sms ‘Can we meet on Thursday 10.00 pm to discuss …’
The answer was ‘I may be in Bangkok, although trip is not yet confirmed.’
Hmmmh, what shall I do with this answer? I would have expected a clear cut answer. There is only three option and these are to agree, or don’t agree to the appointment and suggest an alternative date, or make a meaningful comment e.g. ‘I may be in Bangkok, can only confirm by Monday evening’.
As I don’t like to ‘ding-dong’ too many sms’s around I called in order to fix the appointment. He didn’t pick up the phone. Later on I received a sms from him ‘Did you try to call? I am in Australia, watching a rugby game.’ Strange, surely my call registered as ‘missed call’ with my ID and number.
What do I find strange about this? To me any communication should provide clarity, the next action step should be clear, like:
- I agree / can be done / yes
- Sorry, I don’t agree (provide reason, if appropriate) / cannot be done / no
- Can only answer by xxx date (provide reason, if appropriate)
- Give a counter proposal
To me ‘answering without answering’ is a waste of time and can be annoying.
There is something else that I find very strange in communication. I call it the ‘Polite No’.
Example. I give a quotation to a customer and follow up with a phone call. The customer may have decided in favour of my competitor. But they don’t tell me that. They rather tell me that they are still looking into it. I then, typically, ask for a convenient time to call again. Then, at the appropriate time I call back and they will tell me again that they are still looking into it instead of informing me that I lost the business. If this cycle repeats itself a few times then slowly both sides get a bit irritated. Therefore, I believe it is better to give a straightforward answer. If the answer is ‘No’ it is ‘No’. That is part of life. Sometimes you win, sometimes you don’t. At least if the situation is clear, as disappointing as it may be, both side can move on and there is no need to annoy each other with follow up calls.
Some of my Asian readers may now think, ‘Of course, that is our cultural background. We don’t like to be unfriendly, harsh by saying ‘No’ bluntly.’ I agreed with that until I found out that finally, the unpleasant situation will surface anyway. I would still argue that it is preferable to settle it quickly with a firm ‘No’ rather than dragging on making both sides feeling uncomfortable for a while until the ‘No’ finally surfaces anyway.
The answer was ‘I may be in Bangkok, although trip is not yet confirmed.’
Hmmmh, what shall I do with this answer? I would have expected a clear cut answer. There is only three option and these are to agree, or don’t agree to the appointment and suggest an alternative date, or make a meaningful comment e.g. ‘I may be in Bangkok, can only confirm by Monday evening’.
As I don’t like to ‘ding-dong’ too many sms’s around I called in order to fix the appointment. He didn’t pick up the phone. Later on I received a sms from him ‘Did you try to call? I am in Australia, watching a rugby game.’ Strange, surely my call registered as ‘missed call’ with my ID and number.
What do I find strange about this? To me any communication should provide clarity, the next action step should be clear, like:
- I agree / can be done / yes
- Sorry, I don’t agree (provide reason, if appropriate) / cannot be done / no
- Can only answer by xxx date (provide reason, if appropriate)
- Give a counter proposal
To me ‘answering without answering’ is a waste of time and can be annoying.
There is something else that I find very strange in communication. I call it the ‘Polite No’.
Example. I give a quotation to a customer and follow up with a phone call. The customer may have decided in favour of my competitor. But they don’t tell me that. They rather tell me that they are still looking into it. I then, typically, ask for a convenient time to call again. Then, at the appropriate time I call back and they will tell me again that they are still looking into it instead of informing me that I lost the business. If this cycle repeats itself a few times then slowly both sides get a bit irritated. Therefore, I believe it is better to give a straightforward answer. If the answer is ‘No’ it is ‘No’. That is part of life. Sometimes you win, sometimes you don’t. At least if the situation is clear, as disappointing as it may be, both side can move on and there is no need to annoy each other with follow up calls.
Some of my Asian readers may now think, ‘Of course, that is our cultural background. We don’t like to be unfriendly, harsh by saying ‘No’ bluntly.’ I agreed with that until I found out that finally, the unpleasant situation will surface anyway. I would still argue that it is preferable to settle it quickly with a firm ‘No’ rather than dragging on making both sides feeling uncomfortable for a while until the ‘No’ finally surfaces anyway.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment