Some people don’t seem to be able manage their own behaviour. Whenever they get irritated by a person they lose their temper and ‘hit back’ with aggressive talk, generalized accusations and so on. Obviously, such a response is like pouring oil into a fire. Instead of matters getting solved, matters take a turn to the worse.
Then, instead of taking responsibility for their own action, they put the fault back at the person who irritated them by telling them that their first irritation caused them to react aggressively. A bit like ‘Look what you made me do!’
Are only some people like that or are we all – more or less – like that? Something irritates us and the words come out of our mouth without being checked by the brain for the potential damage these words can do and the rationality.
Two solutions:
When something irritates you very much, take a breather. Think how to answer with reason and common sense. Stick to the fact. No judgement and accusations.
I know that is easier said than done. Give it a good go. If you really put your mind to this, you will succeed.
And, if it really happens that you blow your top:
1. Take the initiative to settle the issue fairly quickly. Make sure that you are in control of your emotions
2. Recognize that you have over-reacted. Don’t sweet talk or down talk your words. If you are wrong, you are wrong and recognizing this is the first step.
3. Explain your reaction and
4. APOLOGIZE – Make sure your voice reflects that you really mean to apologize.
5. GIVE A HUG. You need to make your own judgment if and how to apply this in a work environment. Nevertheless, a hug or a touch is a very powerful action that underlines your regrets.
6. Re-visit the issue, which caused you to over-react and discuss in a calm and rational manner
Then, instead of taking responsibility for their own action, they put the fault back at the person who irritated them by telling them that their first irritation caused them to react aggressively. A bit like ‘Look what you made me do!’
Are only some people like that or are we all – more or less – like that? Something irritates us and the words come out of our mouth without being checked by the brain for the potential damage these words can do and the rationality.
Two solutions:
When something irritates you very much, take a breather. Think how to answer with reason and common sense. Stick to the fact. No judgement and accusations.
I know that is easier said than done. Give it a good go. If you really put your mind to this, you will succeed.
And, if it really happens that you blow your top:
1. Take the initiative to settle the issue fairly quickly. Make sure that you are in control of your emotions
2. Recognize that you have over-reacted. Don’t sweet talk or down talk your words. If you are wrong, you are wrong and recognizing this is the first step.
3. Explain your reaction and
4. APOLOGIZE – Make sure your voice reflects that you really mean to apologize.
5. GIVE A HUG. You need to make your own judgment if and how to apply this in a work environment. Nevertheless, a hug or a touch is a very powerful action that underlines your regrets.
6. Re-visit the issue, which caused you to over-react and discuss in a calm and rational manner
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