I am just reading an interesting book called Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely.
He explains a very interesting experiment that he did with his students. The experiment is all about that we know what is the correct way to do things or to behave, whilst we are in ‘cool’ rational stage, but, when emotionally highly-charged we are much more likely to behave in a manner that goes with the emotion. In other words, when emotionally charged, we do things that we consider wrong when in a ‘cool’ rational stage.
This is not too surprising, though it never hit me that directly.
Let me repeat.
For this experiment the students had to fill in a questionnaire whilst in a ‘cool’ rational stage. The students had to answer questions on certain issues and express what they would do or what they considered right or wrong.
During the second part of the experiment students had to answer the same questionnaire whilst being emotionally highly-charged. The result. Their willingness to actually behave in a manner or to do things that most considered wrong during the first round increased by huge percentages.
Meaning: When we are emotionally highly-charged, we are often willing to behave in a manner that we consider being wrong in the first place!!
What are my takeaways from that?
1. If I get emotional or feel ready to have a ‘good argument’, I will look for a way to find my composure, take a break or whatever, and continue later. Surely this approach is correct for other temptations as well.
2. If I notice a person talking to me gets very emotional, and of course, we all know who they are in our environment, I will not enter into the argument, but instead I will back off. Defuse the situation and only continue with my discussion after tempers have cooled down. Easy to say, tough to do, but it works …
He explains a very interesting experiment that he did with his students. The experiment is all about that we know what is the correct way to do things or to behave, whilst we are in ‘cool’ rational stage, but, when emotionally highly-charged we are much more likely to behave in a manner that goes with the emotion. In other words, when emotionally charged, we do things that we consider wrong when in a ‘cool’ rational stage.
This is not too surprising, though it never hit me that directly.
Let me repeat.
For this experiment the students had to fill in a questionnaire whilst in a ‘cool’ rational stage. The students had to answer questions on certain issues and express what they would do or what they considered right or wrong.
During the second part of the experiment students had to answer the same questionnaire whilst being emotionally highly-charged. The result. Their willingness to actually behave in a manner or to do things that most considered wrong during the first round increased by huge percentages.
Meaning: When we are emotionally highly-charged, we are often willing to behave in a manner that we consider being wrong in the first place!!
What are my takeaways from that?
1. If I get emotional or feel ready to have a ‘good argument’, I will look for a way to find my composure, take a break or whatever, and continue later. Surely this approach is correct for other temptations as well.
2. If I notice a person talking to me gets very emotional, and of course, we all know who they are in our environment, I will not enter into the argument, but instead I will back off. Defuse the situation and only continue with my discussion after tempers have cooled down. Easy to say, tough to do, but it works …
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