I came across quiet a few people who are reluctant to ask for advice, because they are concerned that this would indicate that they ‘don’t know their stuff’ and don’t know what to do.
Well, I have a different view. I have observed that most people are looking at the same issue and come to a slightly, or often, a total different view. Different views originate from different experiences, knowledge, special expertise in certain fields, or even personality e.g. a very ‘people’ person may judge a situation differently compared to a very analytical person.
So, I want to benefit from these different views. Whenever I have an important issue on my mind I let it ‘roll around’ in my mind for a few days and at the same time ask a lot of people for advice. I listen carefully to every bit of advice and answer something like: ‘Thank you very much for your input. That is very useful to help me to formulate my decision.’ This is very important. Don’t ask people for advice and then tell them that this is not useful advice. They may take you to be ungrateful or think ‘Why do you ask me for advice in the first place if you are so smart.’
So, just say thank you. Later you consider carefully and make you own decisions.
Never think that people who have less expertise than you cannot give you advice.
I remember a situation when I talked to my daughter, a young girl then. I told her that I plan to do some videos for my seminars. Her first, I must say in that case unsolicited, advice was that I should take care to make the video very short. And she said: ‘Some of our teachers use videos. Anything longer than 5 minutes is very boooooring.’ Well, I followed her advice. All my videos in my seminars are shorter than 5 minutes, except one. Somehow, I didn’t manage and this video turned out to be 10 minutes long. And sure enough I can see my seminar participants ‘switch off’ after 5 minutes. That was sound advice from a little girl.
There is one special situation and that is asking your boss for advice. Obviously, we don’t want the boss to think that we don’t know how to do our job. I would say something like: ‘Boss, I have an issue to discuss with you. I have a pretty good idea how to go about it, but, I just want to bounce this idea off you.’
And, if your boss gives you advice, you can’t make a different decision anymore. Follow. Do it. I think that it is very risky to ask the boss for advice and then do something different.
Now, I had some bosses, who were very good at giving advice, although one was different. Whenever I walked into his office with one problem, he gave me so much advice on so many things to consider that I left his office with many problems. In this case, I refrained from asking for advice.
Who else is very good in asking for advice? The Singapore Government. I came to this conclusion from everything I read about Singapore, especially in the early days. They always looked for a lot of input from a lot of experts, then analysed the information and made their own decisions.
Well, I have a different view. I have observed that most people are looking at the same issue and come to a slightly, or often, a total different view. Different views originate from different experiences, knowledge, special expertise in certain fields, or even personality e.g. a very ‘people’ person may judge a situation differently compared to a very analytical person.
So, I want to benefit from these different views. Whenever I have an important issue on my mind I let it ‘roll around’ in my mind for a few days and at the same time ask a lot of people for advice. I listen carefully to every bit of advice and answer something like: ‘Thank you very much for your input. That is very useful to help me to formulate my decision.’ This is very important. Don’t ask people for advice and then tell them that this is not useful advice. They may take you to be ungrateful or think ‘Why do you ask me for advice in the first place if you are so smart.’
So, just say thank you. Later you consider carefully and make you own decisions.
Never think that people who have less expertise than you cannot give you advice.
I remember a situation when I talked to my daughter, a young girl then. I told her that I plan to do some videos for my seminars. Her first, I must say in that case unsolicited, advice was that I should take care to make the video very short. And she said: ‘Some of our teachers use videos. Anything longer than 5 minutes is very boooooring.’ Well, I followed her advice. All my videos in my seminars are shorter than 5 minutes, except one. Somehow, I didn’t manage and this video turned out to be 10 minutes long. And sure enough I can see my seminar participants ‘switch off’ after 5 minutes. That was sound advice from a little girl.
There is one special situation and that is asking your boss for advice. Obviously, we don’t want the boss to think that we don’t know how to do our job. I would say something like: ‘Boss, I have an issue to discuss with you. I have a pretty good idea how to go about it, but, I just want to bounce this idea off you.’
And, if your boss gives you advice, you can’t make a different decision anymore. Follow. Do it. I think that it is very risky to ask the boss for advice and then do something different.
Now, I had some bosses, who were very good at giving advice, although one was different. Whenever I walked into his office with one problem, he gave me so much advice on so many things to consider that I left his office with many problems. In this case, I refrained from asking for advice.
Who else is very good in asking for advice? The Singapore Government. I came to this conclusion from everything I read about Singapore, especially in the early days. They always looked for a lot of input from a lot of experts, then analysed the information and made their own decisions.
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