Listening Skills

Today I drove into town. I was in the middle lane and a big limousine on my left was drifting into my lane. As the car was only slightly ahead of me, I hooted briefly otherwise the car would have hit my car. There was no reaction, so hooted again. The limousine went back into its lane briefly, then accelerated and moved over into my lane. As long as I am safe that is, of course, fine with me. But, you may have guessed it, the limousine made a point to stop next to me and the driver gave me a real evil eye. I wheeled down my window, so did he, and explained in a reasonable voice that I hooted to alert him of the danger of him risking knocking into my car. I have to admit, the gentleman didn't listen. He called me a **** (sorry the words cannot be repeated here) many times until the traffic light turned green. As he was speeding off, he purposely cut into my lane again. Since I am an executive coach by profession, I followed him and managed, at the next red traffic light, to stop next to him, wheeled down my window and, I promise, still in a reasonable voice tried to explain to him that my point of hooting was to alert him to the danger in order to avoid an accident. Sadly, he yelled that he is not interested to listen to me and again practiced his insulting skills on me. But I have to say that his vocabulary was very limited as he used the same **** words again. I did not try to catch up with him at the next traffic light. :)

Reflecting on this incident, these are my insights:

Could it happen to me that I am really mad about something and then just yell back? Could it happen to me that I think I am right, but actually I am not, because I don't have the complete information? Could it happen to you? Conclusion:

Even, if I am really upset I will still make an effort to listen to the other person. I may not have the complete picture. After having the full information, I may want to change my mind about the other person's behavior, and, maybe, strike a better relationship.

I will not try to clarify issues when the other person is still very emotional. Allow the other person to cool down first, whenever possible. Sometimes we have the urge to lecture others, because we 'mean well'. Let's wait for a suitable time.

Now I feeI really good. Of course, I was also upset about this incident. After writing down this episode and establishing my learning points, I have a smile on my face. Looks like writing things down and reflecting is a good tool to de-stress. Try it.